I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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