Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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