I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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