I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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