I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
