i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
