Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
