It's Friday. Sex?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
