currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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