If that was your dad, he is hot
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
