When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
