I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
