I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
