btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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