"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
