Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
