marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
