I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
