There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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