Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
