um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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