You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
