no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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