Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
