I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
