just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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