Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can I color on your dick again?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
