Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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