summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
