just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
