I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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