He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
