She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
babies were throwing up all over the place
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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