I want to stick my p in your. b.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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