Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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