Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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