wrigley field is MILF paradise
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
