My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
