Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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