just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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