thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
