I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
