so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
