Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
