So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
