Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
