u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize