i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
