i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
