I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
