Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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