how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think people are normalizing furries
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
