i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
