woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
