Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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