Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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