Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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