before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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