i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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