i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
