It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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