You work out of a Hotel?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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